What does your black dog day look like?
For me, it’s a few days in the making. It’s a growing sense of something that starts as uneasiness, absorbing every little bit of negativity until it becomes outright panic. This is a high risk state. Here, I am a woman on the edge. I have little to no control.
I feel like I can’t cope with simple tasks and worry that one little thing more will be too much. Too much for what, I don’t know but that’s scary too. I know I’m on a tipping point but a tipping point to what? That’s when it feels most make or break and that’s when I know it’s time to regroup. At this point, self care and candles goes out the window and all that helps is isolation, bed and mindless tv. Lots of it. I have to shut the world out for a while, slowing to a stop long enough to let the dust settle and feel safe and back in control.
I’m one of those strange outgoing introverts. I’m not shy and in the right circumstances I enjoy the limelight. How I know I’m an introvert is about how I recharge. Although I enjoy being around people, it saps my energy. The only way I recover myself is by being alone. That’s what makes me an introvert. Whilst I advocate all the ways to wellbeing and fully buy into the need for connection for our wellbeing and sanity, on a black dog day, the best thing for me is solitude.
It doesn’t take long but it is absolutely necessary when I reach that point of no return, to shut the door on the world. The exception to my no company rule is of course my dog! But he’s brown.